Musings from an Insomniac: Part One


I dare someone to not only walk one mile in my shoes, but challenge for ten miles, before s/he decides to form any kind of  opinion of me.

If you know exactly what my thought process is, my rationale for doing things in linear fashions, or why I’m incredibly hyper-sensitive at the most crucial times, then you can judge me.  And, for that matter, I suppose you could help me understand exactly what’s going on in my own frame of mind, because I can’t wholeheartedly admit I know that either.

Before you go flapping your mouth about me, make sure you’ve got all your facts straight.  Also, you’re an idiot if you fall for an over-exaggerated story or rumor that someone has started about me.  Come on, does it really make sense that I’d be that type of person? Or that I’d really do something like that?  I’m not an idiot — I see how you make a fool out of me when I act the way I always have, but you ignore me or brush me off.

I guess it’s my vulnerable, almost happy-go-lucky personality that throws people off into believing I’m some naive little girl who needs to be held by the hand.  I suppose it’s also my slower grasp of comprehension of new information that makes people think that I’m “dumb.”  Regardless of who you think I am, you’ve got another thing coming if you believe I’m going to continue to let you walk all over me and be treated like a child.  I know when I’m being taken advantage of, and I’ve got intelligence, determination, and personal strength that stretches yards and yards beyond your ignorant mindset.  Maybe, if just once, you’d open your eyes and look at me as a whole person, you’d see how far I’m able to make myself come despite both personal and situational obstacles.


Okay.  Deep breath was taken.

If you’re reading this post, I’m sure you know two things: a) my “you” is a generalization (although, I *do* have a few select individuals in my mind who I would like to see read my above entry), b) you have issues in which you wish others would realize and give you more credit for.

Before I begin my “moment of truth” doctrine, allow me cordially thank you for mustering up what patience and interest you must have harvested in getting through my melodramatic rant up above.  I will assure you that this blog will never become an un-ending, mind-fatiguing “blob” of rants and arbitrary emotional statements.  But, for the sake of getting the wheels in my mind spinning, I had to “warm up” by spitting out the venom that has been building up inside of me for the past week.  If the snake didn’t spew here, we would have had some unfortunate events occur for some people.  So, again, thank you.

Stay tuned for my doctrine tomorrow evening.  Fatigue is finally beginning to get the better of me.  Remember, kids: an eye for an eye; your virtue is only mine to return and give back.  Not everyone will take the time to really look at a person “in full” — so, do it for yourself.  Look out for yourself.  Quit feeling bad about yourself.  The harsh rationalizations of people do not matter; what matters is what expectations you’ve exceeded for yourself.  More on everything tomorrow…

Many blessings for tonight.


About ebaum252

This blog has no particular topic or theme with the exception of the circus of wonders, dreams, questions, struggles, joys, and perceptions from the depths of my heart and mind. I write to discover and inspire myself, and possibly turn some wheels in my readers' minds. Take what you may from this blog, for that is the beauty in the art of writing.

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